Doublespeak

Today's Indian Express carries a sharp satire on Indian Politicians' doublespeak:

A B. BARDHAN, general-secretary of the Communist Party of India, did not consider Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam as the next president, asking rhetorically in a television interview, “How can we say that in a nation of a billion persons, he is the only person fit for the post?”

Yet what are the options really? From Jyoti Basu to M. Karunanidhi, the political scene is strewn with the most comprehensive geriatrics clinging on to positions of power. Bardhan’s own preferred choice, Somnath Chatterjee, was so full of his own importance that he took strong exception to the Australian system of subjecting Indian legislators to airport checks.

The penchant for preaching and practising tangentially extends beyond all boundaries. Observe the contradictory stances of all the parties on an issue like quotas for women in the legislature. They support it from the outside and scuttle it from the inside. They bail out Delhi traders but bulldoze Nandigram, never mind that the former were illegal encroachers while the latter were resisting forcible occupation. We are for the poorest said the Samajwadi Party while hobnobbing with the most affluent actors and business barons. ‘Secular’ Congress announced a string of goodies on religious and caste lines while dalit champion, Mayawati, sought and got the boon of the Brahmin.

Double standard is not the monopoly of northern parties alone. “Two judges cannot decide the fate of a billion persons,” thunders Karunanidhi on the OBC quota case. But an adverse judgment against Jayalalithaa by even a single judge is more than welcome. Daughter Kanimozhi champions a movement for freedom of expression, but Maran is sacked for airing an opinion poll. Dr Ramadoss would like to restrict Tamilians to the Tamil language and get them to imbibe Tamil culture while his son, Anbumani Ramadoss, prefers to sermonise in English.

And now we have the ultimate doublespeak. We need a president who commands respect and inspires the nation, says the politician. But support for a candidate will be based on gender, caste, loyalty and political bargaining. In short, everything other than the candidate’s capability and performance.

Actually, This practice of doublespeak comes naturally to we all Indians. We keep our homes clean but our neighborhoods dirty. We all hate corruption and lament it but never even think twice before bribing a traffic police personnel if we ever get caught without license. We hate reservations and say that our Society has now become equal and caste differences exist no more, at least in towns, but so many of us still want to marry in their caste and religion so as just to keep their parents happy and maintain pure breed!! We despise those who burn brides for dowry but will still ask for pocket money and girl's share shamelessly while making negotiations for marriage. We hate slums and encroachments but cry wolf when illegal middle class colonies and shops are bulldozed in Delhi.

In fact, It's wrong to blame Politicians. Doublespeak is in our DNA.