6 posts tagged “i love my india”

or, Can i say, a tongue-in-cheek, doublespeak for our very special Railway minister, Lalu

Virtually playing a TTE, the Railway Minister vented his fury against the unhygienic conditions at [Patna] railway station but was caught on the wrong foot when he spat on the [Railway] tracks [in front of tv cameras]

Rats are gnawing at beer cans and making holes in caps of whisky bottles stored in police storehouses in Bihar and apparently getting drunk, authorities said on Wednesday.

The rodents' love for liquor has the police department in the state stumped as it tries to store hundreds of bottles seized from illegal sellers from across the state in Patna, said Kundan Krishnan, a senior officer.

"We are fed up with these drunk rats and cannot explain why they have suddenly turned to consumption of alcohol," he said.

From Mumbai metblogs.. an unbelievable Heh!!

This is a perfect case of where brains and logic are thrown out for a toss and just the letter of the law is followed.

In a serious communication gap on Tuesday, the Mumbai fire brigade was not allowed inside the Mumbai airport in an emergency because the fire department did not have airport entry passes.

However, the CISF that guards the airport say they didn't have any information about the fire and hence didn't let them in. [link]

Looks like common sense does not seem to be a job requisite for CSIF employment. Idiots can apply and have done so in the past !!

Today's Indian Express carries a sharp satire on Indian Politicians' doublespeak:

A B. BARDHAN, general-secretary of the Communist Party of India, did not consider Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam as the next president, asking rhetorically in a television interview, “How can we say that in a nation of a billion persons, he is the only person fit for the post?”

Yet what are the options really? From Jyoti Basu to M. Karunanidhi, the political scene is strewn with the most comprehensive geriatrics clinging on to positions of power. Bardhan’s own preferred choice, Somnath Chatterjee, was so full of his own importance that he took strong exception to the Australian system of subjecting Indian legislators to airport checks.

The penchant for preaching and practising tangentially extends beyond all boundaries. Observe the contradictory stances of all the parties on an issue like quotas for women in the legislature. They support it from the outside and scuttle it from the inside. They bail out Delhi traders but bulldoze Nandigram, never mind that the former were illegal encroachers while the latter were resisting forcible occupation. We are for the poorest said the Samajwadi Party while hobnobbing with the most affluent actors and business barons. ‘Secular’ Congress announced a string of goodies on religious and caste lines while dalit champion, Mayawati, sought and got the boon of the Brahmin.

Double standard is not the monopoly of northern parties alone. “Two judges cannot decide the fate of a billion persons,” thunders Karunanidhi on the OBC quota case. But an adverse judgment against Jayalalithaa by even a single judge is more than welcome. Daughter Kanimozhi champions a movement for freedom of expression, but Maran is sacked for airing an opinion poll. Dr Ramadoss would like to restrict Tamilians to the Tamil language and get them to imbibe Tamil culture while his son, Anbumani Ramadoss, prefers to sermonise in English.

And now we have the ultimate doublespeak. We need a president who commands respect and inspires the nation, says the politician. But support for a candidate will be based on gender, caste, loyalty and political bargaining. In short, everything other than the candidate’s capability and performance.

Actually, This practice of doublespeak comes naturally to we all Indians. We keep our homes clean but our neighborhoods dirty. We all hate corruption and lament it but never even think twice before bribing a traffic police personnel if we ever get caught without license. We hate reservations and say that our Society has now become equal and caste differences exist no more, at least in towns, but so many of us still want to marry in their caste and religion so as just to keep their parents happy and maintain pure breed!! We despise those who burn brides for dowry but will still ask for pocket money and girl's share shamelessly while making negotiations for marriage. We hate slums and encroachments but cry wolf when illegal middle class colonies and shops are bulldozed in Delhi.

In fact, It's wrong to blame Politicians. Doublespeak is in our DNA.

From Mumbai metroblogs,

Image Copyrights

This fat brawny rat with its unusual long teeth was trapped at a farsan shop in Dombivli on Wednesday. Nearby residents of Siddhivinayak Farsan thronged the shop at Phadke Road, believing the rat was Lord Ganesh's avatar. The shop owner, Sachin Dedhiya, took the rat to his home and offered puja [ritual worship]. The rat did not eat anything at his home, so fearing that it would die, Dedhiya left it at a Shiva temple. [link]

Let us look at the key points of the Story:

1. The Rat had unusually long teeth.
2. The Rat was fat.
3. The Rat didn't eat when offered food.

My father used to tell me in my childhood that Rats need to chew things in order to brux (grind their teeth) which  reduces the length of their teeth which if grow unbruxed, can kill the Rat by piercing his own skin. Now that this rat has long teeth, it clearly means that it hasn't been eating or chewing things since a long time.

The rat is fat and it didn't eat food when offered. Why?

Now, as argued above, The rat hasn't been eating for long now and doesn't eats free offered food even(very uncharacteristic of rats). So, either the rat is ill or it is on dieting. Now, If the rat would have been ill, then it couldn't have been fat as it hasn't been eating food for a long time, So it should have grown slimmer meanwhile.

So, now that it is almost proven that Rat wasn't ill.. Can i proceed now to say that "The Rat is on a diet".

Nobel prize for me, anyone?

There'll be some posts on this blog from now on, covering stories which are truly and very special to India and India only, and will be tagged as "I love my India". The first would be this one.

Yesterday, I read in an article in Financial Express, "There is a thin line of difference between Free-market and Free-for-all Market. For some time now, I'm beginning to believe that India doesn't has a free and liberal democracy. Instead It's just a free-for-all democracy. Therefore, If you have some goons, thugs and a coverage of few T.V. Channels, you've surely got the God or FSM, whichever you believe in, on your side. Burning Buses, Breaking into shops, looting, causing inconvenience to everyone, blackmailing law and order authorities, It's all your birth right dude.

Be it lumpen Shivsena elements in Mumbai, or the Gujjars in NCR and Haryana, the conclusion remains the same.

To hell with Democracy, I love living in India. One never needs any comedian here for a good laugh riot. Watching the headlines of T.V. Channels itself can give you a good stomoach ache.